i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
