this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
