and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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