id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he thought i was a dude.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
