I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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