He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
