there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
