How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
please come you make the beer taste better
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
