There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
