so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
