Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
