He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
