Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
