Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
