i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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