What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
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