Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
