I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
