apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
