If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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