I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
