Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
