bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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