Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
smell my finger.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
