ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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