why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize