I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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