she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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