I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
