absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
