Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
