Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
