just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
