I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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