Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
