idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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