We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
