Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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