You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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