I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
