Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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