You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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