his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
