i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm sobbing to NWA
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
