So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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