You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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