I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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