who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
