The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
