No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
