No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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