After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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