I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
