I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
