I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
