once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.