You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
do nipples grow back?
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