He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
